NP: Shadow Stabbing - Cake

An intellectually stagnant geosystems class and a rough night before left me quite emo for logic yesterday afternoon. I was listening to Bright Eyes' Nothing Gets Crossed Out all during my lunch break. The song describes my doubts and insecurities about college quite well, and I tend to over-listen to poignant songs.

Events took a turn for my favor last night, however. Amy and I attempted to hunt down the local chapter of Campus Crusade for Christ, but only managed to locate them as their “meeting” was wrapping up. Said gathering consisted of freshman playing volleyball. Amy took off, but I stuck around. After watching for awhile, I decided to take a risk and jump in. An hour later, while I may not have had any new friends by name, I at least had ventured out of my introvertedness and enjoyed myself in the company of strangers. Maybe my social skills are not as far gone as I thought.

I also had a rather bizarre dream last night, but I'm afraid the recount of it here might frighten away some of my readers. Call me if you want to know about it.

NP: So Com Voce - Thievery Corporation

Logic class should prove quite fun, completmenting sociology as an enjoyable class. Caitlin from Humanities is also in Logic, so hopefully seeing her every day will spark some conversation opportunities.

Yes, it's entirely too early to develop a serious "liking" to anybody, and I'm trying to keep that in mind. I just don't want to hesitate and miss my chance. That's the frustrating thing about opportunity: your timing must be nearly perfect. Sometimes being off by a few hours or even minutes is all it takes for something to fail. I'm fretting over this, I know, but I just want things to go right for a change. This is the first real opportunity I've had in awhile, and I'd like there to be as few mistakes as possible. Still a dreamer after all, I guess.

NP: Influence - Jurassic Five

My science class should prove quite simple. At a volume of just over 300 students, I doubt the professor will expect a lot. He also said most of the exam material would come from lecture, not text, so I shouldn't have too much reading to do. Honors orientation seems interesting, a good way to meet people. As a bonus, Kimie from seminar is in the class, so I'l have a chance to better evaluate the situation with her. My logic class begins in 18 minutes, and it's the only class I've yet to have, so I should get an overall evaluation of my semester by the end of today.

I walk campus on a perpetual high. There are so many beautiful women here, it's like my brain is getting hundreds of minute cocaine hits every hour. I hope I develop some sort of immunity to it, or I soon won't be able to function. On the other hand, though, I don't want the impact of beauty to lessen. Oh, the contradictions inherent to existence.

NP: For You to Notice - Dashboard Confessional

Well, here I am at CSU, a fully-registered, tuition-current freshman. I don't feel at all like a college student, but so I am and so I must be called.

My morning classes went okay. Sociology sounds like it's going to be fun, the prof seems level-headed and relaxed. Honors seminar might get a bit irritating, however. The classwork sounds extensive, and the prof isn't too exciting. However, there is a girl in said class who I find terribly attractive. Her name (if I caught it right) is Kimie. She has dark hair, hazel eyes (I think), and seems collected and quiet. She hails from a small town in southeast Colorado, so I assume she isn't too familiar with the local sights. Perhaps (as if I could work up the courage) I shall ask her to lunch Wednesday.

I'm completely intimidated by the sheer volume of people on campus. Never have I been surrounded by so many people in my age group save at the Foo Fighters concert, and I daresay the environment contrast is gargantuan. So many faces, so many lives, all interacting with each other, influencing each other. It makes my head spin. I wonder how many of these lives will become involved with my own. After a year of near-total isolation, the prospect of meeting new people and developing meaningful relationships with them is proving quite overwhelming. One thing is certain, however: I don't want to remain isolated anymore. If I only knew how.