A Little Longing Goes Away - The Books
I feel exceedingly strange right now.
The e-mail to Eric Hollenbeck informing him of my decision to leave the percussion studio has yet to be written and sent. I'm hesitant for reasons that aren't entirely clear. My reasoning is sound, it's not like he'll miss me, and it needs to be done. I guess I just hate closing doors because I'm so indecisive. Maybe the lack of a suitable class to fill the three missing credits is causing some of the delay. Irrational, I know, but "it's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart."
.......
Despite all appearences of nonchalance, I can't shake this pathological drive to impress people. This is compounded to the nth degree by certain people I maintain regular contact with. Well, a certain person. A person who seemingly stops at nothing to inflate his ego by using my humanity as a foot-operated pump. I am fully aware of his own insecurities but somehow am unable to bypass his animosity. Suffice to say, I feel exceedingly shitty in his presence. I'm constantly on edge, knowing any and every mistake I make will be inflamed to the stoking of his self-satisfaction. It's not any of you readers (unless he somehow got the URL from a FoCo resident). As far as I know, he doesn't even have a Blogger identity. I'm sure he'd accuse me of being whiny and butt-hurt should he read this, but I find such self-ignorant arrogance abhorrent.
My feet are cold.
The e-mail to Eric Hollenbeck informing him of my decision to leave the percussion studio has yet to be written and sent. I'm hesitant for reasons that aren't entirely clear. My reasoning is sound, it's not like he'll miss me, and it needs to be done. I guess I just hate closing doors because I'm so indecisive. Maybe the lack of a suitable class to fill the three missing credits is causing some of the delay. Irrational, I know, but "it's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart."
.......
Despite all appearences of nonchalance, I can't shake this pathological drive to impress people. This is compounded to the nth degree by certain people I maintain regular contact with. Well, a certain person. A person who seemingly stops at nothing to inflate his ego by using my humanity as a foot-operated pump. I am fully aware of his own insecurities but somehow am unable to bypass his animosity. Suffice to say, I feel exceedingly shitty in his presence. I'm constantly on edge, knowing any and every mistake I make will be inflamed to the stoking of his self-satisfaction. It's not any of you readers (unless he somehow got the URL from a FoCo resident). As far as I know, he doesn't even have a Blogger identity. I'm sure he'd accuse me of being whiny and butt-hurt should he read this, but I find such self-ignorant arrogance abhorrent.
My feet are cold.
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