Undertow - Tool

Do any of you ever get that feeling that the music you're listening to is completely insufficient to express what you feel? I'm sitting here, agreeing with everything this song says and feels, but I still feel a strain on my soul. I've been feeling it more and more lately, and I know I've mentioned it here before. But, purely to soothe my narcissism, I shall tell you all again. I shall tell you how imprisoned I feel in this flesh, how I long to unharness the power of my spirit. The strain already threatens to tear me asunder. For those fans of Final Fantasy IX, I imagine I'm feeling something akin to what induces Trance, save I can't actually erupt into an uber-powerful form. Still, I feel as though something needs to erupt. If I knew what, it would help. Maybe the arrival of my drum set will alleviate some of this stress, if only temporarily.

I want to know what is causing this, though. I have all this energy boiling beneath the surface, awaiting only a single catalyst to release it from its restraints. Knowing this, I have to tread carefully. I fear the results if the wrong trigger is tripped. It's more than just water being held back by a dam now; I'm a can of shaving cream left in the sun. There's more to my existence than I'm living right now, and I want to know what it is. I want to identify the source of this so I might better understand how to channel it.

The ultima is being forged anew. Perhaps then it will shine as was intended by the swordsmith. Things will change. New paths will unfold before me, new challenges will appear on the horizon, new companions will cross my path, and new facets will appear on the surface of my spirit.

Still, I can't help fearing the possibility of some things being made only to be broken.