Thomas - A Perfect Circle
What we have here, ladies and gentlemen, is a failure to communicate.
So time for some straight shooting. I'll make Roland proud.
Issue I - Why do I spill my guts so openly on this little blackened page of the Internet but not in person?
Answer I.i - I've always expressed myself best via written word. When discussing intimate matters, my speech becomes halting and uncertain. Why? Because I'm afraid of sounding pitiful, pretentious, or otherwise despicable. Here, I feel much more comfortable because I have time to think about things and can delete or reword part of a post before I publish it. Such luxuries are not allowed in most vocal exchanges.
Answer I.ii - Bringing up such subjects has always been incredibly difficult for me. Whenever I try, I feel like some whiny imp begging the world to give a shit about me. Here, I can say what I want and those who give a shit can reply (hence my sensitivity about commenting).
Issue II - Why do I use ridiculously overblown metaphors to describe how I'm feeling?
Answer II.i - It's my creative expressionism attempting to cope with the feelings and sensations inside me. Phrases like "My life sucks" and "I've no reason to keep living," while applicable, don't convey the extremities to which I feel these things. The metaphors are constructed to more closely mirror what's going on inside me.
Answer II.ii - I've always been a sucker for poetic expresssion.
Answer II.iii - In my defense, not all of my posts are hopelessly cryptic. This one, for example, states very clearly what was upsetting me.
So where do we go from here?
I suppose it's time for me to shed my e-chrysalis and re-enter the world of tactile contact (damn these metaphors!). It's going to take a little while to get used to, though. The last face-to-face confidant I had....well, maybe I should tell you all that story in person.
So time for some straight shooting. I'll make Roland proud.
Issue I - Why do I spill my guts so openly on this little blackened page of the Internet but not in person?
Answer I.i - I've always expressed myself best via written word. When discussing intimate matters, my speech becomes halting and uncertain. Why? Because I'm afraid of sounding pitiful, pretentious, or otherwise despicable. Here, I feel much more comfortable because I have time to think about things and can delete or reword part of a post before I publish it. Such luxuries are not allowed in most vocal exchanges.
Answer I.ii - Bringing up such subjects has always been incredibly difficult for me. Whenever I try, I feel like some whiny imp begging the world to give a shit about me. Here, I can say what I want and those who give a shit can reply (hence my sensitivity about commenting).
Issue II - Why do I use ridiculously overblown metaphors to describe how I'm feeling?
Answer II.i - It's my creative expressionism attempting to cope with the feelings and sensations inside me. Phrases like "My life sucks" and "I've no reason to keep living," while applicable, don't convey the extremities to which I feel these things. The metaphors are constructed to more closely mirror what's going on inside me.
Answer II.ii - I've always been a sucker for poetic expresssion.
Answer II.iii - In my defense, not all of my posts are hopelessly cryptic. This one, for example, states very clearly what was upsetting me.
So where do we go from here?
I suppose it's time for me to shed my e-chrysalis and re-enter the world of tactile contact (damn these metaphors!). It's going to take a little while to get used to, though. The last face-to-face confidant I had....well, maybe I should tell you all that story in person.
2 Comments:
i HATE the internet. i especially hate it when i realise that if it weren't for its existence, i would never long to visit and spend large amounts of time catching up with people ive never met in iowa, colorado, washington, oregon, and various parts of canadia.
people used to not have to deal with these issues. people used to either have friends in their midst...or they were hermits. there was not this inbetween social group which stays inside yet reaches out to so many more than is possible without the aid of technology....im sure it made the friendships in their midst more real and intrusive to personal issues.....but it also isolated those drawn toward hermitage.
you know I wasn't trying to dog you out or anything by saying you shouldn't let too much out. I'm just worried about you, because I know you don't get the responses you're looking for, and it looks like it makes you feel like crap.
I'm just saying that most of the things that you express are things that really are nobody but your own and your closest friend's business.
whatever, I think i'm just rambling. Just don't expect too much from people when it comes to the internet. it's much more convienient to just read what you have to say, go, "huh. neat.", and continue surfing. I know for me personally, I read what you have to say, and really do care, it's just that I don't always feel the need to post some comment, because me caring about you just goes without saying. It does for all the guys.
You don't need me to post something to know that, but if it helps, I'll try to more often. sometimes I actually can't, because the school district blocks the comment feature.
weak.
anyway... there you go.
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